Crafting through Loss

Since my last post a man who I was very close to, lost his fight with cancer. Ras Lilee was a complex man who was caring and attentive to the needs of others, a man who loved God more than anything, who lived life the way he wanted and was an irrepressible personality who people either loved or not. He could make you laugh, feel cherished but never held back from expressing when he felt hurt or anger. I loved him, seeing past his faults and I miss him more than I can say.

I am telling you all this because I need to be honest with the feelings I am working through. These are uncomfortable waters in which I travel and who knows long it will be before they become calm and less unpredictable. I know he would not want me to be always sad but I also know I must allow grief to take its course, recognise that I am on this difficult journey of adjusting to life without my supportive and loving bredren. No doubt some of you can fully relate and I hope forgive my need to share.

He was there when I began making cards and encouraged my creativity. The birthday card shown is the first I ever made for him and one of my earliest creations. He often ordered bespoke cards to give to others and was proud of me when I took the step of having a craft stall at my local Arts & Craft Market. Unfortunately he never saw my latest creation which I am developing for my future craft endeavours. No doubt he would be full of admiration and encouragement, coming up with suggestions of his own.

When I was trying to think of a logo to put on the back of my cards he came up with with the idea that all I create comes from me and so should reflect this. This is why my logo is a representation of me. He made feel it was okay and the positive response of others confirmed he was right.

I take comort in the fact that he is no longer suffering pain. He is loved and missed by all his family and friends. I can talk to him wherever I am and I can cry if I want to and smile when remembering the good things we shared. Some days I am happy and some days I am terribly sad. Through it all I have faith and prayer and my creativity.

Last weekend the third Arts & Craft Market day took place. You can see my collection of photos from the day by clicking here. Because I am dealing with health issues I'd already decided not to have a stall this time. I did take the time to visit and the warm welcome I received made me glad I did. Naturally this was a Christmas market and it was bigger than ever taking up three rooms. I visited every stall meeting old friends and new crafters alike. I took along some of my new knitted keyring/bag charms that I am working on to show Ms Cat, the market organiser. She was so pleased with them she was prepared to offer me a stall there and then, free of charge! I was touched by that but was in no way able to take up her kind offer but I really appreciated the thought.

I've made fewer cards than usual at this time as I had my part to play in preparation of laying my bredren to rest but I did manage to create an advent card from a design in Crafts Beautiful magazine. I've already given that one to a memmber of my family and I have other cards ready to send with love to other family members. I've also sent a few of my knitted keyring/bag charms to my Mum who immediately fell in love with them and ordered a few including one for herself.

I continue to work on creating different designs and this helps me to work through this new chapter of my life. I am thankful to my family and friends for all their love and support through this difficult time. Most of all I am thankful to God for the life of one who left the mark of his love forever in my heart.